A sound, controlled thinking process is one that is disciplined and is slow to act outwardly when imagination is the stimulus or when real time events create thoughts that spur bad feelings. Be quick to realize that bad feelings, if unchecked, can motivate us to act on bad principles. Remember that some principles call for physical action for meeting needs. As mentioned before, our perception of our needs, beliefs, and principles can be in error. If feelings are running the show, this results in our actions being in error. Negative actions are a direct result of unconstructive or incorrect principles. These, in turn, are a direct result of error in our belief system and our inaccurate perception of what will satisfy our basic needs.
If we can understand and accept this concept, it is easy to see how bad principles in our belief system can have a negative impact on meeting our needs…and, conversely, how good-principles will meet those needs. What we need then is a process that can help us remove bad principles and develop good principles in our belief system.
This is exactly the process that occurs in Alcoholics Anonymous. We talk about, and share, beliefs and principles that help us live life without alcohol. It is through the process of applying the steps of the program that we take on these beliefs and principles in our daily walk. Step 10 is a good example. It reminds us to always be looking at our own behavior and, when we are wrong, to be quick about admitting it. The principle of honesty found in this step directly opposes the error that most of us had in our thinking when we first came into the program. The most common incorrect belief that we bring with us is that “If I am wrong…and admit it…I will appear as ignorant.” Due to our inner need for significance and a belief that an admission of fault would shame us, our former approach was to practice the deceptive principle of dishonesty.
As we discover in AA, the new and better belief, which we embrace into our belief system, is that humility and honesty is a better way than always being right in the eyes of others. This new and better belief replaces the former belief and goes farther towards satisfying our real needs. If we have incorporated this principle into our living process, it is because we have accepted the standard of principles embraced by the twelve steps. Our belief system changes through application of the process found in Alcoholics Anonymous.
Acceptance of this process may not occur easily. We construct obstacles to any new information that conflicts with a deeply imbedded misbelief. This is “self” standing in the way. Self, as defined here, is a measure of the composite substance of our individual belief systems, which contain both truth and error, and our own physical and emotional senses with their tendency towards the selfishness of sensuality. Theologians refer to this tendency as the sin nature or original sin.
The spiritual solution requires that we be willing to replace error in our belief system with truth. The difficulty is in not knowing when to accept something new into our belief system. We probably do not recognize it as truth and denial rears its ugly head often. Sometimes, our best indicator is emotional pain. Bad feelings define this state of mind and we should be quick to learn this is a positive and not a negative because our alcohol-practicing belief system, if still active, screams for booze to medicate and remove the pain. Isolating ourselves or anesthetizing the feeling with chemicals, or some other action that makes us feel good temporarily, is never a good solution.
If we stand on the truth behind the AA principles, the natural growth process will eventually adapt the new principles and the old ones will die. Emotional pain does not necessarily have to be a bad state to be in if we can see the positive value of it. Negative feelings indicate that a principle in our belief system is incorrect. Instead of acting on these bad feelings, we need to seek advice from others who have had the same experience. Seeking advice is looking for alternative beliefs and principles that lead us to the right thing to do. This is the point where self-control becomes the solution. Sharing our feelings with others is an important part of the recovery process. If we act on our truth- seeking process, confusion and other bad feelings provide a stepping-stone to growth.This is why it is important to stand firm, seek truth, and trust the process. The more we act on better principles the faster the death of the old principle. Acting on truthful principles will eventually lead us into better beliefs.
We should be thankful for the consequences that brought us to Alcoholics Anonymous. They provided the motivation that brought us to a state of willingness and attitude needed to embrace this lifesaving, principle-changing process. Emotional and spiritual growth requires such a process. We will always gain new knowledge, and experience better results, by practicing better principles. Some additional examples of other common misbeliefs, which change through the process found in the AA program, are:
The original belief: I cannot live my life
without alcohol.
The new belief: I can live my life without
alcohol.
The original belief: I won’t be able to have
any more fun if I stop drinking.
The new belief: I have lots of real enjoyment
now that I am sober.
The original belief: That person makes me angry.
The new belief: My anger is my problem not
theirs.
Understanding this simple concept of belief systems and the role that principles play in our life can help us understand why the program of Alcoholics Anonymous works so well. What happens is that, through a truth- building process, a transformation occurs in our original belief system creating one that has beliefs and principles that provide better living results. In other words, we start to meet our real needs. New beliefs and principles take time to develop within us. The rate of growth is dependent upon the depth of our misbelief.
Several factors can aid this process. If we act on faith on the new principles, we will personally experience better results than what our old principles produced. Experience is certainly an excellent teacher. Second, when others share their experience, strength, and hope we will see an increase in faith in these better principles. Acting on faith requires willingness to apply the principles found in the program…whether we understand them or not. For the change process to work we have to be open minded enough to admit that we have bad beliefs and principles within us. Denial can run deep…from our initial encounter with our powerlessness over alcohol to the basic understanding and admittance that we are flawed. Denial of error within us is common to all of humanity, not just alcoholics.
The 12 steps are not the only source of better principles. When we introduce topics in AA discussion meetings, people share good principles with us. If we act on these principles, the results will usually be similar to their experience. It is very important that we should only share honest experiences. A good healthy discussion on honesty has helped many of us modify our belief systems. We should never underestimate the value found in sharing our experiences. This valuable and practical truth is an essential part of the AA recovery process.
God, in His word, provides the endorsement for this valuable asset of our program. His word validates our own experiences in Proverbs 27:17: As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. We also find growth occurring because of slogans such as Think Think Think, First Things First and Let go and let God. They all contain principle material. My favorite is Stand still and let it hurt. My first sponsor shared this slogan with me. It has helped me many times when I have been in a state of confusion. The idea behind this principle is to realize that our feelings are only temporary…they will not kill us…and, if we hang on just a little longer, our feelings and often the circumstance will change. Another great principle is...if it hurts, stop doing it. The difficult part of this principle is admitting to the real issue rather than the excuses we use to sidestep personal accountability.
When the speeder no longer blames the reason for the speeding ticket on where the police radar was that day and admits to the fact that he was speeding, real growth can occur. We are very fortunate if we understand the power that beliefs and principles actually have over our life. The principles of the program point us to the truth that enables us to live life just a little bit easier.
Our program becomes a blessing once we begin to appreciate the process that is available to us. Another insight is how we continually learn that the hindsight, found in our own experiences, is a precious gemstone. With the alcohol removed, we can learn, from our experience, how to control and change our actions towards similar future situations and events. Just as important is the fact that other people’s hindsight can become our foresight. This is an eye-opening concept. However, it is very important to have faith in the giver of the hindsight and have enough willingness to act on the principles suggested.
Is the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that simple? Well, it really is, but then again it is not. Often, we do not see faces more than once, as slips are commonplace. Deeply embedded beliefs are difficult to change. Added to this is the pulling of our sensual nature towards unhealthy desires that can sway us to act incorrectly. Denial and old habits coupled with unhealthy desire are very powerful forces and it is sometimes necessary to experience harsher consequences to stimulate our belief systems for change. It saddens me to see people come into the program and not stick around long enough for the transformation. Even those of us who have been practicing the program for a reasonable length of time continue to fight changes in our belief system.
It is a normal lifetime process…but it does get easier as we grow in maturity. Maturity, in this sense, means living life with truthful beliefs and principles. After the alcohol is no longer an immediate threat, the process of growing emotionally is still difficult. Deep-rooted defects, found in seemingly harmless beliefs and principles, come to the surface solidly. Both denial and habit are not so easily foreseen obstacles to our mental growth. Continual exposure to consequences and the sharing of better beliefs can eventually break down denial. Habits, on the other hand, can go on even after we stop denying the problem and therefore deserve further explanation.
Excerpt from Eternal Sobriety
Do you mean I have bad beliefs and principles inside me?
Could that just be the AA process?
I guess working the steps is important.
So working the steps gives me better beliefs and principles?
You mean my denial goes deeper than just my problem with alcohol?
There go those emotions again.
Did you say my negative emotions can be useful?
Oh! I better read this again.
Am I grateful?
Are these truths real to me?
Really?
Do I really understand what a principle is?
Good principles abound in AA.
Our process is found in the Bible?
I drank because......
Thank God for AA.
You mean there's more?
I know I believe that something is bad for me so why do I keep doing it?
Go here next.
Does AA really work?
Once we start attending regularly and begin to respond to the sharing of desperately needed truths, our lives start to turn around…for the better!
Our problems lessen or disappear, individual attitude changes occur, and family situations generally improve.
Honest smiles appear on our faces that have not smiled in years.
Is it magic? NO.