Why do we act the way we do not want to act and do the things that we do not want to do?

This mystery has plagued humanity since Adam and Eve when they were enticed by the devil to eat of the forbidden fruit. Finding out what it is that makes us human is a deep inner need that seems to be a basic part of our primary nature. The historical writings of Plato confirm this need to search for answers. Paul the Apostle puts it another way in Romans 7:15: I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

The problem (and the search for answers) remains active today. Problems in our own modern world provide an abundance of fuel for this search. We are a troubled society and it is getting significantly worse; answers are not easy. The study of psychology has exploded and fix-it books are everywhere. The general belief of modern psychology is that humanity has the ability to heal itself. This is true to a degree.  Many people do get better through psychiatric counseling…many more do not. 

The reason is simple. It is impossible to fix a human problem with a physical solution when the root problem is actually spiritual!  As recovering alcoholics and addicts in a 12-step program, we have come to understand this fact. However, modern science has provided a wealth of useful information about the human part of our problem. A philosophical understanding of our human makeup can help us understand our need for a spiritual solution.

Let's examine our fundamental human thinking process and our emotions. Thoughts speed in and out of our minds in a continual stream 24 hours a day. Some thoughts are conscious but science tells us that most thoughts are subconscious. Feelings and emotions derive themselves directly from thoughts processing in our mind. Our feelings can change from moment to moment as the type of thought pattern changes. Feelings are often hard to describe whereas emotions more specifically relate to strong feelings such as hate, fear, excitement, anger, love, joy and grief.

Science tells us that emotions relate to both chemical and physical sensations that translate into what we sense as feelings. Sometimes our emotions are calm and, at other times, they can be agitated. It is my own belief that it is the content of the thoughts behind the feelings that are the problem and not the feelings themselves. The norms, in our society today, are to react to the feelings brought on by our thoughts rather than investigate the actual reasoning behind those feelings.

For individuals with addictive personalities, this is where the danger lies. Rather than treat the real problem…the thoughts…we most often try to fix the feelings through chemicals (prescription drugs, non-prescription drugs, and alcohol) or actions (skipping work, over-eating, lustful sex, etc.) that tend to give us mental or physical pleasure.  This action is what spawns most addictions. In addictions, our behavior becomes a direct extension of our attempts to do things that make us feel good.

It is also important to understand that even though our feelings seem to direct our behavior, in reality, we are making decisions all the time. The decision-making ability that God created in us is always at work, although we may seldom sense it. This is called our will and it is always present and directing our behavior. The tendency is to often make bad decisions simply because many of our thoughts are in error. If we allow uncomfortable feelings to rule our actions, rather than truth and facts, we can amplify the problem. When error within us couples itself with a low individual tolerance for emotional pain, it likely leads to decisions and consequences that not only hurt ourselves but others as well.

Our inability to self-medicate our problems and/or pain with drugs, alcohol or lustful activity becomes evident to others before we can clearly see it. Selfish thoughts often consume and overwhelm us as we attempt to satisfy our need for pleasure or relief from emotional pain. Since a large part of our thought processing is at the subconscious level, thoughts that contain error often influence unhealthy decisions and actions. This is quite a dilemma and needs a solution that addresses the real culprit…the thoughts.

Most of us do not have the discipline to look at whether the thoughts behind bad feelings are in error. Trying to grasp a thought and put it under the microscope to see if it is a lie or a truth is difficult at best. Yet, the lies in our belief system brought into the thinking process are our most fundamental problem. Alcohol, drugs, and the perceived need for self-medication perpetuate the error that fogs our ability to think and reason clearly.

The error in our mind and belief system is indeed a major problem. AA provides a place and a process as part of the solution.